Center for Hope & Safety
Violence Against Young Women
Harassment
Frequently showing up where you are (especially uninvited), following you, making prank phone calls, threatening you on the phone, spreading rumors about you, giving messages to you through your friends and/or family after you have made it clear you do not want to have contact with him.
Intimidation
Putting you in fear by: subjecting you to reckless driving, kicking, smashing or throwing your personal items or other property, shouting, using looks/gestures, threatening to get you in trouble with your friends/family.
Violation of Personal Boundaries
Reading your mail, going through your purse or locker without permission, taking your personal items without asking, forcing unwanted touch or sex, refusing to stop wrestling after you ask him to stop.
Threats
Threatening to harm you and/or your family, friends, threatening to commit suicide, threatening to share private information, and/or threatening to break up with you if you do not do what he wants.
Using Male Privilege
He may act like he is the boss and what he says, goes, he reminds you that you are a girl and that’s why you are supposed to do what he says, he may feel he has the right to be consulted about all your actions- where you go and with whom, in some situations he believes you should be asking his permission to go or do something.
Limiting independence
Telling you what kind of clothes you can and cannot wear, telling you how you have to wear your hair, he may decide how you should spend your money, where you go on dates and when you go out, he may not allow you to use your choice of birth control, he may pressure you into using drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.
Degradation and Humiliation
Calling you names in front of others or privately, putting down your religion, race, or socioeconomic class, he may show public interest in other girls after agreeing to see only you, touching/grabbing parts of your body inappropriately in public or private, putting down or making fun of your family home, family situation or family members, showing personal/private items.
Isolation
Pressuring you to choose between him and family/friends, pressuring you to quit a job or extra-circular activities, pressuring you not to go to college or to go the college of HIS choice.
Originally in the format of Teen Power & Control Wheel provided by the Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc. (319) 326-9191
24-hour hotline 503-399-7722
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